I finally have what I'd always wanted - Yes!

For the first time in over 30 years I finally have what I'd always hoped to have:

- loving husband & terrific marriage; and
- a child I can love and guide through life.

Unbelievably what I wanted most is what most women want NOT to have these days - independence. It’s a lot more than that though as I had the independence and what I considered a ‘career’ although these days it wouldn’t be considered a career.

I left home at 18 and ventured out into the world. Almost pushed out of the nest actually. My father had always been very strict with me and on New Year’s Eve 3 months before my 19th birthday (legal age here in Canada) he’d given me a curfew of midnight.

Well let me tell you that at that time (1976) I had friends in high school that didn’t have such limitations – even then 28 years ago, most adolescents were given freedom – possibly too much but that’s another story!

From that time in 1976 to 1998 I was independent by supporting myself and trying to work through a multitude of family pressures, problems, feelings, and basically, growing up.

It took me longer than most of my peers I think because of dysfunctional issues in my life and the way I’d been brought up. I worked though it all and realized that my parents were doing the best they could. I forgave them for what I perceived as ‘abuse’ and in this day and age, it would be illegal to do what my father did. However, I love him very much and have a great relationship with him now. Both my parents live near us and are in good health – thank God.

Now I am able to be the parent I wanted MY parents to be. I have broken the cycle because I’m intelligent enough to change myself, which we all know is what needs to be done as we cannot change those around us.

I am now the woman that stays home and takes care of her family – a housewife!

Since 1998 when I stopped working fulltime I’ve been a ‘stay at home mom’ who found my passion (career wise) was creating web pages. I lost that passion along the way, due to various reasons – mostly related to my fibromyalgia.

Once again, I realize that I love to be creative in a computer type of occupation but have to balance everything else in my life and take things extremely slowly due to my health. It is frustrating at times to realize how aging and health can change a person. I look around at everyone in the world (people I know and celebrities, etc.) and realize – everyone was good looking in their youth!!

So here I am at a defining moment in my life (as Dr. Phil puts it) and I need to work towards my goals – long term.

It’s so hard to stay on track for me with regard to goals. My hubby and I had a particularly productive conversation with regard to our future recently. It felt great!

Now I feel really good about when my daughter comes home from school and I’m able to be there for her but you know I want to find that passion that will drive my life to become more financially enhanced.

I know that I can find that and through setting goals and making little steps for each goal that I will accomplish something in my life.

Knowing the course of action to take and following through on it to get to the final outcome have always been hard for me.

Just wanted to let hubby know that I love him very much and don't tell him enough

- I LOVE U....